People who value what others value.

People who value what others value.

People who find value in what others find valuable.

When others don't value what you value, you feel insecure or angry because you feel as if you have been devalued.

Personally, I can't really relate.

The observational fact is that there are a lot of people like that.

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There are several notes in Yasukazu Nishio's Scrapbox that point out the very phenomenon you present. The following is an excerpt from the relevant page, organized as follows.

I am anxious that I am doing X and not being appreciated. I am anxious that I am doing X, but I am not being evaluated." He exemplified the type of person who strongly demands others to do X and evaluate their work. He explained the mechanism by which anxiety and anger are generated when they do not receive recognition.

He analyzes that the sense of "I can't live without being evaluated" acquired in childhood lingers into adulthood, making people dependent on the evaluations of others. He suggests economic independence as an antidote.

He pointed out the boomerang structure of those who impose only their own values, but others do not feel the same weight - and who take that disregard as "devalued".

He states that the reason people get angry at those who "don't understand" is because they are dependent on "other people's evaluation of their value.

Contrast this with the more cutting-edge people, who accept "not being understood" as fact.

Hypothetical note that around age 40, we finally dismantle our "mental model of worrying about other people's evaluations" and start living by our own values - that is, we start living by our own values. The breakaway from dependence on evaluations is discussed in relation to chronological age.

summary

The Dependent on Others Evaluation type feels that their "existence value is threatened" in situations where others do not feel the same value, and is prone to anxiety → anger reactions.

Mr. Nishio notes this again and again in terms of "desire for approval," "anxiety about not being appreciated," and "excessive expectations of understanding others," and critically organizes it as a "boomerang-like structure" (demanding respect from others when you do not respect others).

Countermeasures suggested in the memo include having one's own standard of values/becoming financially and psychologically independent/assuming that one will not be understood.

The "many people like that as an observed fact" you requested is also mentioned in the above group of notes as "especially easy to manifest in an online environment with a strong evaluation culture." A search on the cited Scrapbox title will list the full text and surrounding notes, so please dig deeper if necessary.

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